


Late Night Lesson

by HiddenSt0rms



Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Roronoa Zoro, Confused Luffy, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Going Merry - Freeform, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Menstruation, Pre-Chopper, Worried Luffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 03:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21129878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenSt0rms/pseuds/HiddenSt0rms
Summary: In which Zoro gives Luffy the talk, Luffy-style.





	Late Night Lesson

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place pre-Chopper on the Going Merry.

The chaos started at breakfast when Luffy made a comment about Nami asking for thirds. He hadn’t meant any harm of course, only curious as to why her appetite suddenly increased. Bad mistake, _very_ bad mistake.

She’d hit Luffy on the head before spiraling into an angry lecture about respect. At least, that’s what Luffy managed to remember, because his head felt groggy from an even angrier kick. Only that did little to help the situation, because the navigator broke down crying because “she was tired of everyone fighting all the time” and stormed out.

The next instance hadn’t offended Luffy, but rather concerned him deeply. He’d come down to the girl’s quarters to tell Nami it was time for lunch, but she was curled up in bed, grimacing in pain. She'd insisted she was fine and would join the others in a minute, but never did.

After being distant and moody all day, Nami went to bed early without a word. Everyone assumed she was just in one of her moods and that it would soon pass, but what Luffy saw just before she’d gone to bed is what has kept him up half the night.

It was Zoro’s turn for watch duty, leaving him to be alone in the crow’s nest, dozing in and out of sleep all night. While not inherently terrible, watch duty was boring, though boring was always preferred when it came down to it. So it’d nearly given the swordsman a heart attack when he opened his eyes to someone crawling into the crow’s nest with him. Upon further glance he realized it was his captain, still in pajamas, one hand rubbing at his eye sleepily.

“Luffy? What’re doing here?”

“I can’t sleep.”

Zoro got a closer look and noticed the pale face. “You feeling okay?”

Luffy nodded quickly, but still didn’t smile. “I’m fine. It’s Nami I’m worried about.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Haven’t you noticed? She’s been acting weird all day.”

“No more than usual. If there was something wrong, I’m sure she’d tell us.” Zoro leaned back with his hands serving as a headrest. His instinct told him everything was fine, and he really hoped his calmness would pass over to Luffy.

But it didn’t, because Luffy shook his head, shooting a pitiful glare. “But I’ve been asking her all day what’s wrong, and she kept pushing me away. I don’t know what to do.”

“Then give her space. Why don’t you go back to bed and get some sleep? It’s late.”

“But Zoro…” Luffy bit his lip. Seeing this had really freaked him out, and talking about it was even worse. “I saw her rinsing out cloths earlier...she was rinsing out _blood!_ What’s wrong with her? I don’t want her to die!”

Being one to remain emotionally solid, Zoro didn’t let his neutral stare falter, despite instantly knowing exactly what was wrong. It made perfect sense, after all, given how the way Nami was acting aligned with his limited understanding.

Kuina had taught him a thing or two. She’d once cancelled on training because of what she called a really bad stomachache, but further investigation on Zoro’s part led to a brief but vital conversation. She’d gone over the very basics and emphasized that while it was painful at times, menstruation was no reason to view women as weak, helpless creatures in need of assistance.

Still, as normal as it felt for Zoro, this was obviously alien territory to his captain. Never before had Zoro felt so helpless as to what to do. Luffy needed an explanation, that’s for sure, or he’d just keep bugging Nami, who was already a ticking time bomb as is. He needed to find the simplest of words as to not confuse Luffy while not embarrassing their navigator.

Zoro straightened up a bit. This wouldn’t be easy, but it should come from him. Sanji would portray it as a medical emergency that left women in desperate need of a knight in shining armor. Nami would be unable to tolerate any ounce of immaturity, which would thus make any attempt at a conversation impossible. And Usopp would just be too squeamish to even think about it.

“You seriously don’t know what’s going on with Nami?”

“Nope.” Luffy took a seat, gearing for his first-mate's explanation. 

“Okay, well…” Zoro cleared his throat. This would be harder than he thought. “Alright, so…you know what makes girls and boys different, right?”

Luffy nodded.

“Okay. When girls reach a certain age, they can get pregnant.”

“Okay…”

“Their bodies get themselves ready to get pregnant, but if they don’t, they need to get rid of what they did to get ready.”

“What do they do?”

“Girls have, uh, these tubes inside of them that fill with blood, and if they don’t get pregnant, the blood has to come out. It happens once a month.”

Luffy tried to process this, but it didn’t click. “I don’t get it. If girls know they’re not gonna get pregnant, then why would they fill themselves with blood?”

“It’s not something they can control. Their bodies expect to get pregnant naturally, I guess. It makes them act weird and moody, but they can’t help it.” Zoro frowned. He just couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to completely lose control to one’s own body like that,_ every month_.

Luffy blinked. Twice. Slowly.

“Do you still not understand?”

“Not at all.”

The swordsman sighed. He needed to dumb this down to a child’s standards. “So um, imagine you’re really hungry and you want a big meal.”

“Like the ones Sanji makes?”

“Sure. So you fill your body with air to get ready for all the food, but say Sanji ends up not making it. Your body – “

Luffy gasped. “Sanji would never let us go hungry! This makes no sense.”

“Just pretend. Your – “

“Why would he not make the food? He loves food, it’s his life!”

“It’s just a story, idiot,” That answer clearly wasn’t good enough, so Zoro gruffly added, “Pretend that idiot cook accidentally put himself in a coma and can’t cook. There. Anyway, your body’s gotten ready for the food like it’s supposed to, but you never ate anything, so it needs to get rid of the air. Then you get upset easily because your body is mad it didn’t get the food. That’s kinda what’s happening to Nami."

Luffy rubbed his chin, squinting his eyes. “I see. She _has_ been more hungry lately.”

“That’s…okay fine, you got it. The point is, she’s not hurt or in any danger. She’s perfectly fine.”

“No she’s not! She’s in pain!” Tears welled in the boy's eyes. 

Despite this, Zoro kept his calm exterior and kept his voice steady. “It’s just her stomach that hurts.”

“So she needs to eat!”

“Not exactly. She’s not hungry, it’s uh, it’s a stomachache, sort of. I don’t know how it feels.”

Luffy pursed his lips in thought. “I got it! If her stomach hurts, then we’ll get her some medicine. Then it won’t hurt anymore!”

“We don’t have a doctor for that, but she’ll be fine without it.”

The captain narrowed his eyes. “How can you say that? We have to do something! She’s bleeding, her stomach hurts…” Now that look of concern was back in full swing.

Zoro sighed and looked at Luffy reassuringly. “I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s not something we can fix. The best thing that’ll help her is to leave her alone until it’s over. You know how Nami is.”

At last, _finally_, Luffy seemed to be content, but he still pouted. “Why didn’t she just tell me this in the first place? That would’ve been a lot nicer than yelling at me all day.”

“She’s probably embarrassed, and it’s not like she needs help. She’s experienced it for years on her own. She’s fine.”

“You promise?” Luffy looked up with gigantic eyes.

“Yes, I promise. Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah, I trust you.”

Zoro couldn’t help but give what almost could’ve been a small smile. “Good. Now go back to bed.”

“Okay. Goodnight Zoro!” Luffy flashed a wide-toothed grin as he clambered back down the crow’s nest, leaving Zoro alone once again.

Thank God.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this sitting in Word from months ago and decided to just throw this out here. Really not sure what possessed me to do this, but hey, statistically someone will find it cute/funny...right?


End file.
